Pre-Departure Gloominess

 NOTE: this writing actually had been done on October 17th 2011, it's my autobiography essay in my Senior English class, and I just found out that it will be great to share it with people, enjoy :)


Last night, I watched the news. They said, there was a burned man again in the afternoon, at the top of the commuter train. It’s not far from where I live. This morning, even when the sun hasn’t show its light, I see hundreds of men standing and sitting in the top of that economy class commuter train, as if there were no burned man from that spot yesterday. That train then departed from the station, where I am standing now. I still watch that view, ironically. It’s 5:25 AM in Depok Station. I’m with my white and grey national high school uniform, still waiting for my train, it’s in better class, and not where we can stand on the top of it, and this is how I start my day everyday.


I love the commuter train. It’s fast and comfort, but you can’t get convenience in the economy class, you will feel like a canned sardine. I’m talking about my favorite class, the AC Class, yup, Air Conditioner. You will feel like you are in Japan because Japanese train labels, warning and even award still stick on the train interior. Whether stand, sit or sit on the floor near an unopened train door, it will make you comfortable, as long as the train is not fully loaded.

I’m in Duren Kalibata Station, South Jakarta, nine stations from mine. I get off from the train and find the green Kopaja bus number 57. It’ll bring me to a small road of my school. I just walk through that road, if I’m lucky, I won’t find road-killed frogs or rats. It should be more than one road-kill happen there.

I’m now at school, nearly 6:10 AM. School still quiet, just a few students and teachers already there, I see the caretaker still sweeping our basketball and volleyball field. Today’s first block is Economy, which is sucks. I’m starting to not really care about that, because I will be in America soon enough. I sit in the third line, second row, waiting for my tablemate to come. I see my friend playing with her Blackberry in front of the class, while charging it. I look on my iPhone, she’s on the Twitter timeline, she might be playing that social network now. I open my bag, I take off my exchange student pre-departure paperwork. I’m so excited. I have to continue my third copy of this. I’m really excited. “What’s that for?” ask my friend-that-still-plays-on-her-Blackberry. “Umm… student exchange,” I replied.

It’s already May. Everyone in school questioning me, when will I depart? Had I been to America yet? Are you kidding me you’re going to America? How much I pay? Friends start to ask about gifts from America, even I still don’t know where I’ll be hosted, and that’s exhausting. In the other side, I’m so excited to leave this kind of hell place. Where I study 17 subjects in a week… err, no… because I’m now an eleven-grader in social studies major, I just study 14 subjects in a week, where the teachers are really conservative and looks a like a bad lion because they think they always right. They think that they are the kings and queens.

I never feel I’m at school since then. I’m kind of a strange teenager in my school, when they are thinking for national exam ahead, I think about my jobs and student exchange opportunity. I had enough on Jakarta. The Big Durian. Full of motor vehicle, pollutions, mean people, crowdedness, people that love bule culture than their own culture. I really need a new world, a world where no one thinks that I’m a strange person, a world where I can get peacefulness and not many people around.

However, behind all that, I knew I would miss some of Jakarta’s sides, because it gives me deep memory, of my friends and families, my life.

I know I will miss my commuter train, and how mess is the station or the train.

I know I will miss my beach, in my favorite island in the north of Jakarta, who knows I’ll be placed in Midwest and will never meet beach in the whole year.

I know I will miss Universitas Indonesia. My dream university, that lies not far from my house in Depok. Where I can hang out with my friend in that college, planning new social projects and get some big portion of Chicken Noodle plus drink for only $1.00 total.

I know I will leave my jobs, I will take a break from my cheerful-but-hectic activities. I have to be ready to leave them all. Although I know, my jobs will still hire me after I got back.

Three months left. I will use my three months left to prepare my mental.

Next week, I will have the visa interview in U.S Embassy of Jakarta. I’m super excited but I’m really nervous too. I can’t wait to tell my friends from another city about Jakarta and how beautiful it is… umm… and also how painful it is too.

Three months left.

I have to do what I never do, I have to try to think what I never think and do something memorable for my family and friends, here.

It’s 3:30 pm. I’m on my favorite AC Class train, meet Varinta, my best friend from different high school, who takes the train from Tebet station, second station after Duren Kalibata. She usually go with Raken, her friend from school that lives in the same city as we are, but I don’t see him anymore since last week, “Where is Raken?” I asked my best friend, she replied me, somewhat looks sad “You know, he’s now moved to West Jakarta, he’s not in Depok anymore,” I’m shocked. He never told us about that, I never heard that news from Varinta too. “He told me at school this afternoon,” she continued. “Oh, we will never had fun again in this railway coach, I’m really sorry about that,” I replied.

“I will really have a multiple loss,” she said.

“Why?”

“After Raken moves to West Jakarta, my boyfriend will go to college, and you... you will go to America. Remains me here. I will really miss you. You are really great. You can get that scholarship and You’re the farthest one who will leave me,” she then laughs with me, but I see the sadness in her eyes.

What Varinta said to me, makes me think. Maybe, I’m not that strange like people think. I’m sure that, I’m precious for my friends and family. I’m an extraordinary person for what I am, no matter what people say.

I promise myself, I will be the new person after I get back.

I arrived at my home. Never this early, 4:50 pm. My mother is here and I tell her about my day and next week’s visa interview. She starts to remind me about my luggage preparation. I won’t do that this soon, because I know I will miss my mother so much, I don’t want to leave her.

It’s 10:00 pm. I just wrap my paperwork up in my study room. My father calls me, “You haven’t sleep yet?” and I said, “I will, I just finish,” When I get off, I see my mother already in the deep sleep, I go to my room, I see my little sister’s already sleep.

I have to prepare for tomorrow. I will wake at 4:30 am. Just as usual.

But the one that not usual is, I know I’m getting ready to face the new world and ready to became a new person.